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2004-11-19 - 10:56 p.m.

Saw Tarnation tonight, a film as moving as it is unsettling. Essentially 20 years of home movies (of a highly dysfunctional family) edited together with subtitles, music, and some commentary, it's a work of amazing, enlightened self-absorption. The director (and star, I guess), Jonathan Caouette is quite a compelling presence, as is his psychotic mother.

What intrigues me most about the film, though, is the evidence that Jonathan's art--his film-making and acting and general playin' around with images and characters and selves--is what saves him from the horrors of his life. It's not just entertainment or escape, it is his way of reinventing himself so he can survive his family.

This is validating for anyone who has spent a good deal of their adult lives trying to get over the need for drama, but never quite knowing what to replace it with. This film suggests that there's no replacement--drama and reinvention and art remain valid options, if you can do it in a way that moves people rather than alienates 'em. Instead of acting out, you act...in a musical version of Blue Velvet, for instance (one of the lighter moments in Tarnation).

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