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Tom Ronca - 2005-08-21 12:33:03
I saw a trailer for 'The Mother' some time ago and it did look interesting; I've added it to my Netflix queue. Saw a another film based on a Kureishi novel called 'Intimacy'; the material is compelling but I didn't think the film itself was particularly good, despite the participation of two outstanding actors, Mark Rylance and Kerry Fox. I also think the blog-entry by Mythago makes many valid points -- for men as well as women. I find myself falling into many of the same pitfalls described there (of course, never with you, Ms. Carino).
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Sue - 2005-08-21 18:35:31
"I wear short shorts simply because they're comfortable" - yeah, right. Freak!
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Bob - 2005-08-22 00:33:04
Haven't seen "The Mother" or read any Kureishi stuff in years, but there was always something that bugged me a little about his work. It's tempting to say that it was a feral caught-between-two-cultures-and-making-up-for-it-by-being-concerned-with-cool thing, but it may have been more largely "Brit" than that. And changing subjects, I have never been suspicious of guys whose friends are mostly women (or aren't), and I think that that woman is stereotyping women whose friends are mostly male more than such women, on average, tend to stereotype women. Seems like usually it's specific traits that they don't relate to well, in women [and for that matter men] who actually HAVE those traits, but that just because they don't relate with 'em doesn't mean there's antipathy... just like, conversely, old hands at lesbianism (in my li'l stereotype/experience) aren't even as likely to have issues with MEN as old hands at het-ism are. (You know, the ol' "just like, conversely".) (...But what I'm likening in both cases are non-allignment pacts.) (And not in the negative, Pere Ubu sense.) (And Aileen Wuernos, of course, lacked such a pact, and look how SHE behaved.)
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2fs - 2005-08-22 10:38:23
Bob wrote: "I have never been suspicious of guys whose friends are mostly women (or aren't), and I think that that woman is stereotyping women whose friends are mostly male more than such women, on average, tend to stereotype women. Seems like usually it's specific traits that they don't relate to well, in women [and for that matter men] who actually HAVE those traits, but that just because they don't relate with 'em doesn't mean there's antipathy..."
What he said. I've often been in situations where I'm the only guy among a group of women, and almost all of my male friends I've met because they're part of couples. This has changed somewhat in recent years, online - but in "real life" prior to that, I'd rarely meet and become friends with men outside the context of their female partners. The reasons, in my case, are pretty simple: I'm not into a lot of things a lot of men are into (sports, primarily), and too many men, in male-only contexts, start acting stereotypically male-chauvinist in ways that irritated me (sorry to those guys, but I'm not one of those who only plays feminist to the ladies so as to get 'em in bed).
But definitely, the bitterness, aggression, and stereotyping of that site kinda bugged me.
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Paula - 2005-08-22 12:25:49
But definitely, the bitterness, aggression, and stereotyping of that site kinda bugged me
I read that blogger's bitterness as frustration more than anything. She was responding, also, to another blogger who had made the classic remark, "I don't know why I don't have any female friends."
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Baby Party - 2005-08-22 13:51:06
I related to it. For many years, I had very few female friends, and lots of guy buddies. This changed when I moved to NYC, and I've never figured out exactly why, but I'm glad it did. I think one factor for me was that I was well into my 30s before I ever felt "cute" or "sexy." I have a theory that much of the time, straight women dress and primp for other women more than for men. Hanging around women who seemed more adept at that stuff (clothes, makeup) made me feel inadequate, so I avoided them. When I grew into my skin, I felt more comfortable around other gals, too.
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