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Greg - 2007-06-27 21:42:28
Paula--hard call on the dreaming. Perhaps you have hit the dream state and are on the brink of Lucid Dreams, something I've never fully achieved but have come really close. Perhaps you're still half awake... Storm coming through though.. I'm unplugging.
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2fs - 2007-06-27 21:45:09
I did enjoy his piece on monogamy - though I have a difficult time asserting my own experience as potentially universal, something his belief re monogamy vs. polyamory suggests - but I'm less thrilled with his writing about "older man/younger woman." This may be because two close friends of mine, very happily married for three years now are around 49 and 29 - and it irritates me that Schwyzer simply assumes that the main reason the older guy is attracted to the younger woman is that she's, well, younger and hotter. I should mention that my male friend's previous partner was his own age, the partner before that was about 5-10 years younger than he - so it's not as if he's stuck on the younger kind. Even if he were: there are so many more ways people can thrive together than just an ego-boosting "check me out: I can still pull in the young chicks" - as, well, his own piece on monogamy points out. I haven't read any more than these two - but it seems I might get irritated if he too often posits as universal that which only happens to be his opinion, perspective, or experience.
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iwombat - 2007-06-27 21:53:03
Read the post in Mr Schwyzer's blog. Change: things we can, things we can't, I think everyone looking for a real relationship, looking for a soulmate is looking for a transformative experience, to become their best self, to become, perhaps more... but what changes? I start playing the sax at the age of 40, have I changed? I liked his use of "radical" the first time, because I feel radically committed to flexibility, to growth, to awareness, to change, but I'm the same person, in most important ways that I was at age 3.
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grigorss - 2007-06-27 22:30:17
The best relationships are ones in which there is an ongoing process of mutual accountability and transformation.
Isn't this true of any real friendship, -- let alone marriage -- I kinda' hope so...
a chimp dressed in a baseball uniform
I definitely tend to get the trailing edge of dreamworld before I'm completely asleep -- nothing lately quite so nightmare-inducing as that, I'm glad to say.
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Paula - 2007-06-27 23:12:21
but I'm the same person, in most important ways that I was at age 3
But you've also grown and evolved in obvious ways since you were 3. I think Hugo is pretty clear that when he says "change" he's talking about dealing with one's own neuroses and overcoming obstacles.
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Bina - 2007-06-28 10:08:36
I went to Hugo's web site and had a read, but after twenty minutes I got a big headache. It must be hard having so many worthy thoughts ALL THE TIME.
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Editrix - 2007-06-28 13:10:45
It doesn't happen to me often, but last night I could clearly see the unbidden image of a chimp dressed in a baseball uniform emerge from the chaos, and the image was so disturbing that I forced myself to wake up.
Saturday night a helper monkey is going to throw out the first pitch at the Red Sox game. And we'll be there! I couldn't be more excited.
Photo:
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/gallery/08_15_06_red_sox_this_week?pg=2
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Alan - 2007-06-28 13:49:07
Paula, was it a Red Sox uniform? I can certainly see that as nightmarish for New Yorkers. (Is there a rimshot emote? If not, can we make one?) `'O
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Greg - 2007-06-28 14:36:25
I never quite pulled off celibacy (no pun intended), but I do believe that couples and individuals that make up couples are seriously cheating themselves and their partners when they step outside... even if it's mutually agreed upon. I do agree with Hugo that monogamy is one of the most direct paths to spiritual growth. In regards to older man/younger woman... I'm sure there are exceptions, and was in an exceptional relationship with someone 18 years my junior, but to say that the age difference wasn't a factor would be a lie... From both sides it was totally a big factor in the attraction, and ultimately part of the break-up as well. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
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Greg - 2007-06-28 14:36:59
I should say I never managed celibacy on purpose.
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Paula - 2007-06-28 16:07:53
helper monkey...Red Sox
Ha! Cool.
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Erich Kuersten - 2007-06-29 10:12:16
During my afternoon nap yesterday I woke myself up right at the moment of drift off by dreaming I bumped my head -- I shot up out of bed saying "Ow!" out loud, then promptly started laughing at myself.
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