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grigorss - 2007-09-26 23:44:18
Here's my favorite advice from the Old Farmer's Almanac on internet dating:
From the "DOs" column --
Show up.
I'm no expert on these matters, but that seems like sound advice to me.
From the "DON'Ts" column --
Don't discuss politics, sex, religion, or taxes. Your date may have differing opinions.
Yeah... her opinions may not only differ, but actually contradict your own!!! I think that's the risk you run when you go on an "internet date" -- or a "blind date" -- or if you just... ya' know -- choose to talk to another human being...
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Janet - 2007-09-27 05:26:02
I used to buy the Old Farmer's Almanac when I was a kid - back before tweens were invented - and pore over the cryptic weather charts and the garden, kitchen and grooming advice. Weird brat that I was. I'm working off my anxiety over the Old Farmer's Almanac's use of terms like "troll" and "Blackberry" (not an agricultural product) by fixating on the odd photo accompanying the dating article. Are they getting set to kiss, or offering up a Nick-and-Nora-style mutual sneer?
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Greg's Internet Dating Foibles - 2007-09-27 06:06:42
So the Old Farmers say rowboating is a good dating idea??? Obviously they've never seen me sweat. Rowboating??? What woman in her right mind is going to let a relative stranger stroke stroke stroke her out to the middle of a lake???
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Greg's Internet Dating Foibles Redux - 2007-09-27 06:13:33
One of my best: If I don't discuss politics up front, or at least have an idea, I'm not going. What kind of advice is "Don't discuss politics."??? I made it out all the way out to a date and was having a good enough time sitting with an absolutely gorgeous doctor... serious stunner. Before the evening was over I heard that "Hispanics are funny and charming but don't work very hard." I learned that, "racial profiling is smart and white people who don't think so are fools." I learned that "This administration is the best thing that's happened to this country because now things are getting done." And so much more... And being a pig, I'm thinking... God,she's gorgeous... Look at that face... Then I had to shake myself into reality. I was having drinks with Ilsa, She Wolf of the Waffen SS!!! Don't discuss politics???? Are they kidding?
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Paula - 2007-09-27 07:19:22
Janet: I used to buy it, too! My taste in reading material when I was a kid was strangely geriatric--I was devoted to Erma Bombeck, I really enjoyed Yankee magazine and Reader's Digest...
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Bina - 2007-09-27 10:16:49
Does anyone remember those books that were popular in the 80s which were just compilations of lists of everything? I can't remember what they were called but they were co-authored by three people - John Irving and Amy Irving and some other person (no - I'm kidding, but the names were similar). I used to read those a lot. They were my Farmer's Almanac...
Greg, are you sure you weren't going out with Ann Coulter?
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Greg - 2007-09-27 10:21:37
My brother was enthralled with Erma Bombeck, Art Buchwald and Dear Abby. He bought their books and read them until they fell apart too. It worried all of us.
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Paula - 2007-09-27 10:46:35
Bina: The Book of Lists!! It was Amy Wallace, John Wallace, and--ooo someone's getting back to their ethnic roots!--David Wallachinsky.
I was obsessed with the Book of Lists as a kid. It ruined me for being able to read long non-fiction, I think, and made me unbearably listy.
Amy Wallace, b.t.w., was a devotee of bullshit artist Carlos Castaneda.
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Bina - 2007-09-27 11:35:17
Greg: typical reading for a Cancerian. I first read Art Buchwald when I was eight and I loved him back then even though I had no idea what he was talking about half the time. I bought his last book just recently and haven't been through all of it, but I like what I've read so far.
Paula: thank you for reminding me of the names.... Those books were all the rage back in 1986 or so... hee hee
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Greg - 2007-09-27 11:55:09
Funny I never read the Book of Lists yet I am still listless. I had a starboard list for a while but I'm now on an even keel.
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Greg - 2007-09-27 11:57:26
And this was my older brother who is a Capricorn.
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Bina - 2007-09-27 12:37:09
My dad's a Capricorn and it was his Art Buchwald book that I read. Although Dad doesn't know who Dear Abby or Erma Bombeck are - thank God.
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Shaquille Shah - 2007-09-27 12:44:26
Dear Abby,
My daughter whom I will call Dina, spends all her time reading blogs. I think she is an internet addict. What can I do to bring her back to the here and now.
Signed,
Wired in Karachi
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Dear Abby - 2007-09-27 12:58:24
Dear Shaquille,
Are you sure your daughter doesn't have a boyfriend over the internet? When girls spend all their time messaging mysteriously in their boudoirs, it often means they've found a playful pal. Just don't buy her a web cam!
Yours,
Abby
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Shaquille Shah - 2007-09-27 13:05:04
Dear Abby, HARAMZADA mai apka moo thordoonga!!!
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Dear Abby - 2007-09-27 13:07:42
Dear Shack Fu,
Besharam! Aisey baatey Ramadan main nahin karna!
Yours, Abby al-Abaya
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2fs - 2007-09-28 00:03:39
Greg, have you been hitting the question-mark sauce again?
As for politics and dating: not that I'd know, having been married or in a relationship for twenty-odd years (back then, it was considered poor form to discuss the shodding of horses, the powdering of whigs, and the chiseling of commandments onto stone tablets), but yeah, since I'm interested in politics, I don't think I'd get along with someone who's just stone bored by them...or worse yet, has a crush on Ann Coulter. (In fact I don't think that would make a woman a lesbian.) I figure: I should be who I am. If she doesn't like me, well, at least we know that right away.
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Greg - 2007-09-28 09:25:53
2fs: It's kind of funny--I was never the sort of person that used multiple punctuations to evoke emotion, but I've caught myself doing it recently in informal stuff like blogs and instant messages. It's shameful for a grown man, isn't it? It's like... one step away from emoticons. I hang my head in shame.
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